Welcome to Life Without the Baby

I am Deneé. I am a mom of three. A daughter in heaven and two little boys here on earth. My daughter Zoree, was born prematurely at 23 weeks 6 days and lived approximately 19 hours. I hope to share more about her birth story and her death at a later date. Living life without her has been a journey. Life without the baby was born from my grief. I started writing as a way to cope with the insurmountable pain and loss that I felt. I felt so alone. I remember wanting to find someone to relate to. Someone who understood my pain and could help me navigate my grief. While I found many women I related to in loss, it was difficult to find someone who looked like me. After years of wanting to share my story, I’m finally in place too.

 

In early 2022 I started therapy with a new therapist. I was about 12 weeks pregnant with my youngest son and desperately struggling. My life was literally falling apart and I knew that I had to do something different. I wasn’t sure what love was. If I loved myself or anyone else for that matter. I sat in the first session with my therapist bawling. I remember telling her how lost I felt. How unsure I was. How alone I was. How I felt like my grief was never-ending. I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I was desperate to get off this roller coaster and end the cycle I was trapped in. She asked me what my goals were…I cried harder. Through falling tears, I finally said “I wanted to love myself without compromise. And not question if I loved myself.” And so began my journey toward self-love.

 

It has been a hell of a ride. I’ve learned so much on my healing journey and through the journeys of my clients. Through this blog, I am excited to share pieces of my story and the knowledge I’ve gained with all of you.